How to be on the “right” side in an argument
We aren’t static beings. There is no “getting to a point where” we are on the “right” side. The sides we really need to worry about, are the ones within us.
Jessica Kiesler
Jessica is the creator of The VisibleU Method™. Over the last 20 years she has helped hundreds of busy adults create more balance within and with others. Jessica received her master’s degree in applied psychology from New York University, and completed mediation training at the Columbia University School of Law. She has held numerous clinical roles, managed clinical operations for a national EAP, and advised executives on employee-relations concerns at Fortune 1000 companies.
The hidden root of those ugly political arguments
My parents were married for over forty years, with a good amount of common ground between them. But their political leanings grew in different directions later in life. I could only
A mindfulness trick for stress
I was walking my dog this morning, and I felt a headache coming on. It’s spring pollen season here, so allergies have been kicking up. But something else came to
How to Use Mindfulness for Difficult Decisions
Micro-mindfulness is a way to visualize settling into the present moment of both your vulnerable needs and your strength-based intentions, so you can create an authentic answer for that specific moment.
Use envy to your advantage
You're scrolling through Instagram and come upon a picture of someone's gorgeous vacation spot, idyllic corner in their home, exclusive event they're attending, and it hits you...your mood shifts, and
How self-compassion protects us
Maybe one of these sounds familiar? You're behind on several tasks at home or work and that dark feeling of delinquency comes over you saying "What is wrong with me?
How to Feel Powerful, More of the Time
You've just spent the week working on a project that you're feeling quite good about actually. Sitting in the team meeting, waiting to give your update, you are reasonably expecting
How to get ahold of fear
When my fear is triggered, I can question things that in any other moment I know are quite secure. It’s something to respect about our humanity. Fear doesn’t just change
How to be vulnerable and strong at the same time
How to be vulnerable and strong at the same timeAt our core, we are all vulnerable. It doesn’t matter how tough, sarcastic or stoic we’ve learned to be. We can’t
Five Lessons I Had to Learn to Be Better In My Relationships
If you feel frustrated or invisible in certain relationships, I want to share some things: First, you aren’t alone. As with most self-help writing, I am drawn to address subjects
The 5 Surprising Benefits of Anger
Anger often gets a bad rap. It’s the feeling that we often judge as “wrong” or “bad.” But that judgment doesn't give us more control. Denying anger inevitably ends with
5 ways to be more self-compassionate
Instead of judging yourself harshly when you….Feel Angry Appreciate that anger is information. Anger tells you that you are reaching a tolerance limit and you need something. You may need distance from
Watch out for this kind of certainty
Who doesn’t yearn to have certainty that their family will be happy and safe, their financial lives will be secure, and their spouse and friends will have their back? But feeling
20 Signs You Are Invisible in Your Relationships
20 Signs You Are Invisible in Your Relationships1. You feel “wrong” a lot.2. Your relationship with your partner looks more okay to others than it actually feels to you.3. You feel taken-for-granted frequently.4. You
This shift makes a huge difference
Do you feel like you're giving a lot... to your partner, family and work... but it's not hitting the mark like you thought it would? If the answer is yes,
The power of your autopilot
Don't underestimate the power of your autopilot. Learning to drive a manual-transmission car is the best metaphor I can think of to explain mindlessness, and the relationship between the conscious and
We will never force change
I wrote this early in my counseling career about the realities of addiction .... We will never force change It comes from within and runs from pressure We can only believe in the
The secret to feeling more joy
If you ask yourself "How do I feel right now?" You may draw a blank ... at first. Very often, to be successful in our society, we must pump up our
The Do’s and Don’ts of Persuasion
It may not always seem like it, but fundamentally we all change in a similar way. Ideally in childhood our parents let us experience an appropriate amount of uncomfortable consequences
How to avoid the most common obstacle to change
It's Tuesday morning and you are three days into your new clean eating plan. You've been feeling great and proud of yourself. But this morning was rough. You got up late, the
How to find your authenticity
In a great 90's movie, "City Slickers", the weathered and wise "Curley" torments Billy Crystal's character by promising the answer to one of life's greatest questions..."What's the meaning of life?"