Jessica received her Master’s in Applied Psychology from New York University and completed mediation training at the Columbia University School of Law. Over 20 years of professional experience, she has held numerous clinical roles, managed clinical operations for a national EAP, and has advised executives on complex employee-relations concerns at Fortune 1000 companies.
I've helped hundreds of women and men resolve relational stress and conflicts, as a psychotherapist, consultant and mediator
I retired from private practice to share what I've learned about relationship stress and conflict, with as many people as I can. The VisibleU Method™ (VUM) is the tool I've developed to "see" balance in almost stressful interaction or moment of conflict or disagreement.
We need to engage in productive conflict to feel fulfilled and to connect deeply in our close relationships
All sorts of defenses and blocks come up when we feel intimidated or stressed. They tell us a "story" about other people, or our options, that is far more pessimistic than we may realize. But we can learn to notice and revise these unhelpful reactions. The VUM helps us respond to stress and conflict, in ways that open us to more connection..
It's not so easy to just "be yourself," especially in our closest relationships
I realized the cost of living inauthentically, in a unique way. I grew up with a twin (that's us in the picture). The "twin" experience drew me into a habit of "matching" in my relationships, that we can all fall into. This unconscious habit of trying to match others (or get them to match us) is at the heart of most unproductive conflict.