About Jessica Kiesler

Creator of The VisibleU Method™

Welcome! Thanks for stopping by. The VisibleU Method™ is a memorable way to keep healthy boundaries in stressful moments and throughout your life.

In the last 20 years, I've held numerous clinical roles, managed clinical operations for a national EAP, and advised executives on complex employee-relations concerns at Fortune 1000 companies. 

I have a master's degree in applied psychology from New York University, and completed mediation training at the Columbia University School of Law.

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I've helped hundreds of people break free from the limits of relational stress

Relational stress can push us into moments of regret. We might "play small" and under-assert ourselves. Or we may over-assert ourselves and get more upset or critical than we intend.  A silent dynamic is driving both.  I retired from private practice to share what I've learned about the "matching trap" with as many people as I can. 

It's not so easy to just "be yourself" ... especially in stressful moments.

I realized the importance of clear boundaries for communication, in a unique way. I grew up with a twin (that's us in the picture). The "twin" experience drew me into a habit of "matching" that kept me inauthentically quiet, in some moments, and had me getting upset in others. This matching dynamic is the hidden obstacle in many stressful moments.

We need to engage in productive conflict with other people.

All sorts of defenses can come up when we feel intimidated or stressed. They tell us a "story" about other people, or our options, that is far more pessimistic than we may realize. But we can learn to notice and revise these unhelpful reactions. The VisibleU Method™ is a framework to combat the matching dynamic that pushes us to play small or get upset in stressful interactions.

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