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The VisibleU Method 

Boundaries Made Simple

A simple, memorable framework to:


    Settle Stress Within

    Create Balance With Others 

    & Stay Fulfilled Over Time

Tired of self-doubt or regret?

Should you speak up or stay quiet? Say yes to that work request, or call it a day? Setting boundaries can be confusing, but the VisibleU Method™ (VUM) helps you see your authentic balance. 

Stop Playing Small or Getting Frustrated

Relational stress can degrade boundaries or create distance with others. You want to be authentic ... but not selfish. The VUM gives you a framework for #goldilocksauthenticity

A memorable framework for boundaries in stressful moments and throughout your life

Healthy boundaries provide three-dimensional balance. But stress can pull us into a two-dimensional world where we feel wrong, or we judge other people. The 3D Boundaries™ course gives you metaphor for balance within, with others & over time.

as seen on:

Does this sound familiar?

You avoid conflicts, but know it leaves your needs out in the cold.
Sometimes you lose your cool, or say the wrong thing, when you really just wanted to communicate your perspective.
It's hard to feel clear about when to advocate for what you want, or  compromise for what other's might want.
You see yourself getting pulled into "the same old" arguments or unsatisfying patterns, but the way out is still unclear.

Imagine this instead: 

Clearly see the boundaries for peace of mind, balanced connection, and decisions that are fulfilling. 
Understand your responsibility and your equilibrium in stressful moments.
Make small and big decisions that respect your power & that of everyone else.
Get an easy way to remember these guidelines for the rest of your life.

Your Roadmap 🗺 for Balance Within & With Others 

Module 1

Introduction to the VUM & a quick audio practice.

Module 2

A new perspective  on stressful interactions

Module 3

The anchor for balanced communication

Module 4

Your secret weapon for calm under pressure

Module 5

How to steer clear of unhelpful or escalated conflicts 

Module 6

How to ensure you have goodwill to share with others

Module 7

The hidden way we create distance in relationships

Module 8

The most common way we sabotage ourselves

Module 9

The secrets to fulfillment &  connection

Module 10

3-Dimensional Boundaries

 🙏 Kind words for the teacher

"I find myself looking for the resources i know I have instead of throwing my hands up in frustration. I am truly grateful."


"You are by far the best coach I have ever worked with."


"I feel like I'm getting more compassionate with myself, and ironically I'm more able to give, in the ways I was trying to before."


A Framework You Can Use for the Rest of Your Life

The 3-Dimensional Boundaries™
Foundation Course

Access all 10 course modules with 90+ video lessons
On-demand lessons you can watch on your desktop or phone
Succinct lesson videos (from 2-7 minutes) so you can learn on your schedule
Downloadable PDF worksheets 
Downloadable Audio Affirmations to keep key course concepts top of mind

A 10-Minute Introduction to The VisibleU Method™ 

Frequently Asked Questions

When does the course begin?

Right away and on your schedule! You get on-demand access to the course hub and all ten modules of videos, audios, and worksheets, right away. The course portal is optimized for use on your computer or phone browser.

"Is this course designed for people to do together? ... maybe someone with whom I have difficult interactions?"

This course is focused to help individuals create authentic balance within, with others, and over time. The framework can be helpful for many people, but its focus is for individuals.

What makes this VUM course different from other books & trainings?

The 3-Dimensional Boundaries™ course gives you a simple metaphor to guide authentic & respectful boundary setting  at home or work.  This proprietary framework helps you cut through the confusion of stressful moments and longstanding patterns.

"I tend to say too much when I'm in a stressful conversation. Is this for me?"

Yep. Stress can push us past our best intentions, in tough moments. The course gives you tools to stand with yourself authentically, without "going too far."

"I have a hard time engaging in stressful conversations. Is this for me?"

Also yes. Different versions of a similar dynamic keep us silent, or overly deferential, in ways that aren't authentic. The VUM was designed to help you value your own needs, as well as others.

Who would not be a good fit for this course?

This course is purely educational and is not intended to be any substitute for  counseling or treatment for a medical or health condition.

The 3-Dimensional Boundaries™
Foundation Course

Access to all 10 course modules with 90+ video lessons
On-demand lessons you can watch on your desktop or phone
Succinct lesson videos (from 2-7 minutes) so you can learn on your schedule
Downloadable PDF worksheets 
Downloadable Audio Affirmations to keep key course concepts top of mind
Jessica Kiesler - mindful communication

Jessica Kiesler, MA

Creator of The VisibleU Method™, Retired Psychotherapist

The VisibleU Method™ is your guide for boundaries in stressful moments and throughout your life.

I did my master's degree in applied psychology at New York University, and completed mediation training at the Columbia University School of Law. Over 20 years of professional experience, I've held numerous clinical roles, managed clinical operations for a national EAP, and have advised executives on complex employee-relations concerns at Fortune 1000 companies.

Read more about Jessica 

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The Visible Self ®, The VisibleU Method™, 3-Dimensional Boundaries™, 3D Boundaries™, the Matching Trap™ and the Matching Dynamic™ are Trademarks of Visible Self LLC.

This site is intended for educational purposes only. It does not provide medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, psychological or medical problems. Before using any information or technique presented on the site for any physical, psychological or medical problem, you should first seek the advice of a medical professional. Use of this site implies agreement to the Privacy Policy & Terms.